Well I’ve been home from Iceland for 10 days or so now and things are slowly settling back into some sort of resemblance to how they were before Pabbi died. My mind stays more focused and doesn’t jump about quite as much as it was. I’m getting back into the work routine but man I’m probably shouldn’t have had so many sleep-ins whilst in Iceland. Getting up by 0630 is just a wee bit harder at the moment than it was before going to Iceland.
I miss Iceland (probably the family/people more than the actual physical place, though I miss that too) terribly but oh when I walked into my own bedroom at 2am last Thursday morning, I felt things for my room that I don’t think I’ve felt before. If I could have hugged my room I probably would have, instead I opened the door and just sighed. My bed, my stuff, my own tea collection, my everythings. I picked up a few things in my travels to add to my room and in the below picture is one. I could have spent a lot more money and time in the Cath Kidston shop… My new cup for when I want a biggish cup of tea (I might have 4 cups that I drink tea out of at home depending on the type of tea, the mood I’m in etc).
Not just my house but also the farm, collecting macadamias, playing with my camera in the afternoon sun.
This past week was also my first week back at Uni for the first time in a good 3.5 years. It’s good to be giving the brain some more stimulus. It’s going to take a while to get used to class from 1800-2100 on Tuesday and Thursday nights but I’ll get there. A bonus to the late finish is that I get an off-peak train fare home 🙂 and since I’m at uni on Thursday nights I can’t be tempted by late night shopping. It does mean that I miss ballet this term though which is a bummer.
Now a picture or two from Iceland
mmm Irises. There were so many in the botanical gardens.
Well in a few words you will find out that I am now in Iceland and have been since about 11pm on June 16th. Just in time to celebrate Iceland’s national day on June 17th and then a memorial service and ashes burial for my father on June 18th etc etc etc
We’ve had a slide show of slides that Pabbi took before Mum and we will be having a slide show shortly of slides that Mum took after she arrived. Mum is currently knitting me a shawl, we’ve climbed a mountain in the midnight light. We are going to brew beer tonight with Karl and watch the soccer and a hundred other things that have been done and yet to be done.
A few photos from June 20.
This is one of my nephews wearing Amma Rut’s (Mum/Ruth) glasses.
We spent part of the afternoon at Þingvellir, where we laughed at this sign. The sign mentions nothing about throwing Australian coins into the river…… I would love to get one of those signs. How often do you see a sign like that????
This is Öxarárfoss at Þingvellir. This waterfall looks quite large on the road in but when you walk up to the base of the falls it is actually quite tiny…..
This post has been coming for 12 days. 12 long days. For the last 12 days I have thought about what I was going to type. Each day was variations of the same theme. Change, loss and the future.
13 days ago, I was looking forward to the weekend. I had all sorts of things planned, none of which I can remember now.
12 days ago, my father died. My father, Paul Palsson, dead. He died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm. In the morning when Mum and Matthew left he was alive. By the time Matthew had arrived home from work later that morning, he was not at home. The neighbours saw Pabbi walk into the ambulance. The hospital called, “your father is in a bad way, please come up”. When he got up there Pabbi was gone. After sorting out things at the hospital, Matthew called me. I didn’t believe him. Then I listened to what he was saying. Pabbi was dead.
12 days ago, I drove over to the house in total hysterics. At some stage, I bit my hand in an effort to calm down.
12 days ago, Mum was out bush walking. The bad weather meant they came home early. When I heard Mum open the door, I rushed at her and cried.
12 days ago, I stood beside my mother in a dimly lit room at the hospital, and “viewed” my father. He had no false teeth in, his wedding band was not on his right ring finger. His eyebrows were bushy. His hair was that weird silvery red blonde colour. He was cold but he was my father and he was on a trolley in front of me.
12 days ago, I was in shock. My father was 66 years old when he died. I am 24. There was so much more I had imagined I would share with him.
12 days ago, I sat at the kitchen table with Mum and Matthew and started typing. Typing the words which would form the frame of the eulogy I would give.
11 days ago, I sat across the kitchen table from my Mother and met a funeral director. A man, who was straight down the line and listened to our thoughts and requests. We cleaned. We went to the farm.
10 days ago, I went to work. My mind was in a hundred and one different places at once. I left work and realised that I wouldn’t be going back to work this week. I got home, packed a few bags and went home to the family.
9 days ago, I didn’t go to work. I visited the travel agent with Mum and booked flights. Pabbi and Mum were going to Iceland on June 12. Now Mum and I are going to Iceland on June 15. Margaret and Reg arrived from Tasmania.
8 days ago, Karl and Erica arrived from Iceland. Susan arrived from New Zealand. We finalised the details. Music was confirmed and food was cooked.
7 days ago, we had a funeral. We said our farewells, I read the eulogy. We ate, we talked and more. That night we visited Matthew’s laser lab and learnt all sorts of things about quantum. Erica went back to Iceland to continue her holiday.
6 days ago, I went to the orthodontist and had a bracket repositioned. We went to the farm for dinner and had Susan’s chocolate self-saucing pudding for dessert.
5 days ago, I had apple cake and ice-cream for breakfast. We cleaned, sorted and made stacks. I had dinner out with a friend and her family and then went to see Where the Heart Is by Expressions DC. The dancing and music was powerful.
4 days ago, we went through slides, cleaned, sorted and more. Karl flew home to Iceland, I went home to my place. My home felt so strange after a week with my family.
3 days ago, I went back to work. I went to SES. I brought my flowers home to my place. Ever since, my room has been filled with the scent of lilies.
2 days ago, I sobbed as I ate my breakfast. Work was work and then I went out to dinner at Jellyfish for a birthday of a friend and had the most amazing meal. The fish, the wine, the dessert, all just amazing.
1 day ago, I realised that keeping busy does keep your mind off the matter but as soon as you stop and take a moment, it can hit you. The time between when you turn off the light and when you fall asleep is filled with thoughts. Unlike 12 days ago, 11 days ago and the like, sleep is no longer so broken. My mind happily stays focused for the most part.
Today, I’ve found some words to type.
Tomorrow, I’ll go to work and then it is the long weekend. A long weekend which will see me packing and planning for Iceland.
Life goes on, differently each day. Time will change things and time will heal things.
Tonight at ballet we learned the one of the steps from the dance below. We had a cracker time in our groups of four firstly getting our arms crossed correctly and then of course moving at the same speed. It was one of the most enjoyable routines I’ve done so far.
What made it even more special was the fact that on Friday last week I watched the Royal Ballet’s 2009 production of Swan Lake as part of the film festival that QPAC presented. Sigh. I think I could watch that over and over again.
16:28
Most days of the week I would still be at work at this time.
Not today.
Today is the one day a fortnight I have off.
I work an extra fifty minutes a day to have a day like today off.
One day a fortnight.
Once every four weeks it is a Wednesday like today.
Once every four weeks it is a Friday like it will be in two weeks time.
Today was a home day.
The morning was breakfast and the paper.
The day was some cleaning, some planning, some reading.
Lunch was a salad.
A salad I liked so much I will make it for lunch tomorrow.
And a slice of cake. This cake.
So very easy and will be made many times again.
Afternoon tea.
A mandarin and a pot of tea.
Creme Brulee from T2.
Just the right tea for 16:28
313/365.
On the deck, sitting at the new to our house table. With my laptop (obviously), a pot of of florally sencha and some grapes. This table is the perfect height. I found the old table a bit too high to type/sit comfortably at. This table will also be great for cutting fabric on as well 🙂 yay.
I can hear a faint din of traffic on Corro drive, the whistles and cheers from the basketball stadium and the sounds of feet fall as people walk through the park.
Today is day 299 for my 365 project. It seems like I’ve been doing this for ages now. Today also marks 292 days till I go to Japan next year with one of the girls. I’m so excited about that trip. We will be away from March 1 to March 15 and will be flying in and out of Osaka. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am. Oh all the places to explore and visit as well as crafty and cute things to peruse.
We got a free lunch today from Lawson’s who are running a Lunch on Lawson’s promo across the country this month. We will also be having a free lunch tomorrow and on Friday as well. Today our sandwich came from e’cco and was just amazing. Somehow I’ve a feeling that our sandwiches tomorrow and Friday will also be amazing. Registrations for tomorrow in Brisbane have closed but are still open for Friday. My entire department will be having sandwiches on Friday as they were all quite taken with our lunch today. If you are in Brisbane and would like a yummy free lunch on Friday, register now! If you are in Sydney or Melbourne, Lawson’s is coming to your town later this month.
And on a different note to finish off with. I’m going back to Uni!! I’ve been thinking about it for the last 18mths or so and bit the bullet a few months ago and put my application in for the Semester 2 intake.
I was very excited when I came home last week to this email.
Dear Helen Palsson,
You have been made an offer in the latest QTAC offer round.
When I logged in to to QTAC I saw this.
In the 6 May offer round you have been offered:
413021 Bachelor of Business – full-time or part-time – Queensland University of Technology, Gardens Point Campus
Start Month: July 2010
You have firmly accepted this offer and you will not be considered in any further offer rounds.
and tonight I saw this
Dear HELEN
Congratulations on receiving your offer to study at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT). I hope that you are excited about starting your study at QUT, as becoming part of the university for the real world couldn’t be easier.
Here is to brain stimulation and increased career prospects long-term.
