one of those days

Today is one of those days when I wish …
… alcohol was never discovered by early man,
… alcohol was not a problem in my family,
… he would understand the pain we suffer,
… I wouldn’t come home to find him drinking,
… we could understand why he does it,
… people would understand what alcoholism is,
… people would not joke about alcholism,
… people would not encourage him,
… people would not question why I don’t have another drink,
… I did not have to act as a second parent.
… that I had more happy memories of him than negative/sad.
… that friends would see him before choosing to drink excessively.
… that alcohol was not what he uses to cope with his problems.
… that alcholism was given more attention in society.
… that I could have a had an alchol free childhood.
… that he had friends.
… that I had the money and means to move out.
… that I don’t expect things to always go bad for me.

I know that I can’t make him change,
I choose to drink, I don’t drink more than once or twice a month,
I do enjoy having a drink with friends.
I don’t see the appeal of drinking at home or at the pub by yourself.
I know that I can only change how I cope my self.

Growing Up In An Alcoholic Home